A Life Shaping Experience
This story I’m about to tell you, shaped my life in so many ways. It is an experience I still look back on today. This day was the day I realized how truly different I was from other people.
I was somewhere between 4 and 5 years old, my parents were recently separated, and it was my dad’s day to pick me up from daycare. I’d just laid down for a nap around 10 AM, about to fall asleep, right in between that sleep and wake zone. Suddenly, I knew (the worst…in my 5 year old mind), and I started crying because that’s what you do when you’re 5. I received a message that my dad wasn’t coming. That was it, “You’re dad’s not coming.” Nothing more, nothing less. What would I do?
I got up off of that blue cot, grabbed my pink blanket, and went over to the teachers. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “My dad’s not coming.” I cried quietly so as not to wake up my classmates. In the most reassuring tone, she conveyed, “Don’t worry, you’re dad will be here.” I begged and pleaded and cried some more, trying to tell her that he wouldn’t be there. But to no avail, so I went back to my cot, wondering what I’d do.
It was early afternoon, and my classmates began getting picked up by their parents. I explained to them that my dad wasn’t coming, and could I come home with them? Each parent reassured me just like my teacher that my dad would be there. No one could convince me otherwise. The message I received during nap time was so clear. I knew this like I’d never known anything previously. I tried convincing at least 5 of my friend’s parents to take me home with them. No one would listen, no one believed me, no one took me home with my coercing.
It got later, the sun started going down, everyone else was gone except me and the last teacher there. I tried once again to tell her, to tell someone who would listen, that my dad wouldn’t be there, that if you didn’t do something, I’d be stuck here. Finally, the doors were closing, it was 6 PM.
Somehow, in divine timing, this woman knew my mom was painting or wallpapering at the principle’s home. Now, this was before cell phones, so we had to rely on land lines and people being home to answer their phones. She called the principle. The principle answered and explained the situation to my mom. It was still another stretch of time before my mom made it to pick me up. I, of course, was happy, safe, and sound. After reaching my dad later, this was after a long weekend, maybe even Labor Day, and he thought that Tuesday was Monday.
A few important lessons I took away from this experience. First of all, there is something invisible to the eye that can help. I have come back to this experience over and over and the feeling of just knowing and it turning out to be true.
Secondly, I have doubted so much that you could call me Thomas. I’ve questioned God, my intuition, why I should have faith at all, etc. And every single time, I go back to that story. This time when I knew intuitively what was going to happen, I had not one doubt. I had blind faith, and remembering this experience renews my faith every time. I’ve come to know that when I doubt, it is actually a deepening of my faith for how could I ever deepen my faith if I never doubted and questioned it?
And, thirdly, on some level I knew I’d had an experience that the general population could not believe. Even 25 years later when I told this story to a counselor, she didn’t believe me. Unfortunately, this caused me to hold back, to not share my truth, my world, my light, and to be cautious to trust others. I became a lone warrior.
My hope is that this sheds some light on who I am and how this experience shaped my life.
In sharing this, I am declaring to the world and The Universe that I will no longer hide. I am ready to share my light abundantly. I now have a pack who hear me, see me, and relish in me sharing my light. Now, I’m beginning to create my own pack where people can be accepted and find freedom!